This article evaluates demands for privatized diversity that destabilize traditional notions of separation of state and religion, by asking secular authorities to adopt a hands-off, non-interventionist approach, placing civil and family disputes with a religious or cultural aspect beyond the official realm of equal citizenship. This potential storm to come must be addressed head on because it mixes three inflammatory components in today's political environment: religion; gender; and the rise of a neo-liberal state. The volatility of these issues is undisputed; they require a mere spark to ignite. The standard legal response to this challenge is to seek shelter behind a formidable "wall of separation" between state and religion, even if this implies turning a blind eye to the concerns of religious women – especially those caught in the uncoordinated web of secular and religious marriage bonds. I will advance a different approach. By placing these once-ignored agents at the centre of analysis, this article explores the idea of permitting a degree of regulated interaction between religious and secular sources of identity and obligation, so long as the baseline of citizenship-guaranteed rights remains firmly in place.